Great website with tools about managing conflict, including dealing with unresolved conflict by Tammy Lenski  

Excerpts:

... “When I can’t get the other person to talk, and the conflict can’t be resolved, how do I let go of it?”

via flickr.com

.... it really is a conscious decision not to let too much of the past eat up too much of the future. Those decisions, which I’ve witnessed as an executive coach, as a mediator and as a college professor of conflict studies, usually became possible when one or more of these had occurred:

You can let go when you feel you’ve made a real attempt to get it resolved. ....The client said to me, “Having that conversation, even though it didn’t work out fully, was one of the best choices I’ve made in this whole mess, because I can let go now. I gave it my best shot, I know I gave it my best shot, and so did she, and we’re not going to agree on this one. I can let go because I know I left no stone unturned and that really feels like success.”

You can let go of the dispute when the relationship has been shored up. ....Addressing the state of conflict was more important than negotiating a specific dispute.

You can let go by deciding to let go. This sounds absurd at some level, but Bill Clinton’s story about Nelson Mandela being escorted to freedom outside the prison gates  beautifully describes the power of choice that is within your grasp:

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Bill Clinton:  ‘Come on, you were a great man, you invited your jailers to your inauguration, you put your pressures on the government. But tell me the truth. Weren’t you really angry all over again?’

Nelson Mandela: ‘Yes, I was angry. And I was a little afraid. After all I’ve not been free in so long. But,’ he said, ‘when I felt that anger well up inside of me I realized that if I hated them after I got outside that gate then they would still have me.’ And he smiled and said, ‘I wanted to be free so I let it go.’ It was an astonishing moment in my life. It changed me.’” 

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Read the post for the full context via conflictzen.com