Emotional Intelligence, or EI for short, has gotten a lot of press in recent years, but has been around in a variety of definitions, for eons.

Definitions help, as EI is very relevant to coaching, as is self-knowledge or self-awareness which is a framework for understanding how individuals grow and develop socially.  This is also how most things get done today, with other people within social systems.

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“The jobs that are staying in the United States ...require regular touch...with clients or a manager.” ~ Erran Carmel, IT Dept, Chair, American University

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Individuals and leaders work with others in social groups using social and emotional skills, along with technical and professional skill.  When it comes to performance problems, it's usually NOT the technical & professional skills that are the problem. 

“The jobs that are staying in the United States are those that require regular touch, face-to-face contact with clients or a manager,” says Erran Carmel, chair of the Information Technology department at American University. The people landing those jobs have great social skills because of the difficulty of “managing teams that are distributed across cultures.”

Definitions help clarify what this all means to set the context for coaching:

Emotional Intelligence:   the capacity to reason about emotions, and of emotions to enhance thinking. It includes the abilities to:

• accurately perceive emotions, to 
• access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to 
• understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to 
• reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth

Source:  Mayer, Salovey, Caruso, 2004

The business case for emotional intelligence is described here and directly relates to the sustainbility of coaching in helping businesses succeed and achieve their goals.

Self-Awareness:  

...probably one of the least discussed leadership competencies, self-awareness is possibly one of the most valuable. Self-awareness is being conscious of what you're good at while acknowledging what you still have yet to learn. This includes admitting when you don't have the answer and owning up to mistakes.

Self-Knowledge:  ...is trickier to define.  For ease, let's use the definition that it is act of noticing your impact on others and then changing/regulating yourself when you notice it.

Emotional Intelligence builds within your ability to affect positive change in yourself, by choice.  Using a coach helps that happen.  

Good coaches do not prescribe or advise.  Instead they ask good questions that fit your situation, needs and goals.  

By just considering the three definitions above, you may be able to see that EI is greatly affected by working with what you've got already.  It is about valuing and working with your inbornness nature more than looking at nuture.  It's also about helping you deal with your own self-interest within a world of people, groups and community.  

Happiness + success happens well when you become self-knowledgable and self-aware at the personal, professional, business and network (think of professional groups & meetings) levels.

There are many articles and blog posts about emotional intelligence.  There are fewer posts about how your own, practiced, committed self-regulation makes a world of difference in becoming self-knowing, self-aware AND emotionally intelligent.  

Self-regulation:  Good coaching helps this happen and helps it be repeatable, again and again.

The quote that best speaks to this, in a bit of a mysterious way, but one that may capture both your conscious and subconscious mind, is this one:

Excerpted:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood...

... Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

from, The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost (1874–1963)

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Photo credit:  by D. Nystrom, detail from the Diego Rivera "Detroit Industry" fresco at the Detroit Industry of Arts

As a way of giving back to my state and community, I'm engaging in a second round of serving as a mentor in the state-wide Shifting Gears program in Michigan.  Their 9th cohort launched this month.

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There are a lot of people who are successful but not wealthy. They view success through a lens that balances their professional, personal and spiritual lives.  ~  Dave Peck

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I'm again reminded of several things as I prepare to mentor a Shifting Gears participant, based on my mentor roles over the years:

• There are many constraints out there, a number of which are actually scarcity beliefs.  Such beliefs do not serve us and may block our happiness AND our success

• There are many opportunities to gain a new perspective or several, which may reveal blindspots and free up energy to do what you REALLY want to do

• Leadership starts with personal leadership of yourself.  I equate this with believing in your own talents and strengths, and finding ways to best use them

• When you give and share with others freely, it usually has a positive, enriching impact on your own life, even more than you might ever expect.

• Leadership mindfulness, can produce decisions in your work that reflect the kind of person you are, and as these Forbes references highlight, the type of leader you want to be.

The blog Forbes post below riffs on my learning above, as I've completed two years of executive and leadership coaching work, mostly with clients in Michigan.

By mentoring, engaging in coaching, volunteering, and simply being in a group with others, your perspective is tested including your views of barriers and constraints.

Moreover, I appreciate the questions about finding balance in Forbes post.  It would seem the increasing role of women in leadership positions is helping this along.  

Corporate jobs, structure and security is being questioned, as is our relationship to money and our definitions of success.  Ultimately, that equates, in my book with connecting happiness AND success together.

A recent family visit to see the special Rembrandt, reflective exhibit at the Detroit Institute of Arts.  The highlights for this visit for me included:

1) each family member could enjoy the DIA and Rembrandt at their own pace and in their own way,

2) the Rembrandt exhibit allowed for meditative aspects of reviewing this master's work, as well as the focus on the the model, a Jewish man in the community, for the "Faces of Jesus" sketches, not the norm, and

3) this was a rich family experience, set for a day when our busy adult kids could join us.  In that way it was truely memorable and a marker visit.

 

Excerpted:

Historically, leadership success = money and power, a false idea of success.

There are a lot of people who are successful but not wealthy. They view success through a lens that balances their professional, personal and spiritual lives

The post-2008 economy has taught all of us that greed, selfishness and short-sighted leadership aren’t sustainable. 

Your journey to leadership success starts with figuring out what matters most to you and then doing something to advance that goal every day. 

Leaders must also recalibrate their definition of success so that it’s based on the opportunities and advancements they create for others and not just themselves.  

See the full post, as well as the commentary at davepeck.visibli.com

 

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If you're trying to be miserable, it's important you don't have any goals.

• No school goals, personal goals, family goals.

• Your only objective each day should be to inhale and exhale for 16 hours before you go to bed again.

• Don't read anything informative, don't listen to anything useful, don't do anything productive.

• If you start achieving goals, you might start to feel a sense of excitement, then you might want to set another goal, and then your miserable mornings are through.

~ John Bytheway

=================

One of my broad goals is to experience the fullness of life, and do my part to help others do the same.

Photo:  My cabin cruise mate and new friend Geri with me.

As school starts up for a sizable part of the population in the U.S., the above quote about energizing yourself through goal clarity seemed useful, especially as I notice the excitement and energy that develops with clients who have developed greater clarity about the real aims of their stated goals.

It was NOT my goal last February to go on a cruise vacation in August.  However, my step-circuit instructor and friend was having a milestone birthday and wanted a cruise vacation with friends to celebrate it.  As I had an inclination to go on a cruise someday, the day had arrived and became a goal.

Photo:  View of the beach on Paradise Island, Nassau, the Bahamas

Those with good experience with goal development and clarifying rightness of purpose and vision, with good connections to their work & personal communities, may find that goals emerge and clarify themselves, guided by seasoned intuition and the help of friends.  A coach can help test the health of a leader's goal setting behavior.  

As I am a coach, there were a good number of conversations with family and friends that sealed the deal on taking advantage of this cruise opportunity.

Here are some goal writing principles to help:

Good goals have structure and spine.  They exist as pillars beyond the wispy land of dreams and fantasies.  Good goals are:

• Small, clear in number, prioritized:  Like a well-planned trip that catches meaningful moments in the journey as well as the specific, desired destination, good goals are clear, numbered, (my top 5 goals this year are...), and are prioritized.  Test that they are energizing to your daily efforts.

• • My broad work goals and areas of service are defined at the end of this blog post and help me focus my efforts when I am invited to speak at events, am contacted for consulting / coaching services and when I do my marketing and relationship building work.

• Well defined, well written:  SMART goal setting is well known to many as a useful reference to writing good goals.  The standard bearer is:    

S - Specific   M - Measurable   A - Attainable  R - Relevant to your mission  T - Time-limited

• Set clear performance expectations for yourself connected with those in your system, boss, direct reports, colleagues, your work and personal world.

• Facilitate communication of expectations between those impacted or involved, especially for those who supply you with what you need to achieve your goals, and to those who have the same needs from you.

• Stay Agile, Adapt your goals if & when circumstances change.  

More of the story:  Hurricane Irene put an end to our port of call at Coco Cay.  We later learned that Key West was definitely worth the few extra hours we were gifted.  The first early afternoon and evening in Key West allowed us to learn from a pedicab driver what best fit the type of adventure my cabin-mate and I wanted to have.

The results.  I'm still smiling from this parasailing, jetskiing and snorkeling video of our water adventure at Key West.

Video:  Thank you to my lovely ship-mate who took the parasailing video when Justin's shipboard camera failed. Awesome job!

• Keep your goal-focused skills sharp.  Pursue regular professional development, especially if the work to be done require skills and knowledge that need to be updated.  Most skills do need regular refreshing.

• Evaluate the results of your goals work tied to SMART.  What's working?  What's not?  Are you working on what really matters?

• Take action on your goals efforts:  Did you produce clear, measurable results?  If not, what needs to change?  Change it!  If you reached your goal, celebrate!  If nothing else, savor the moment.  Enjoy what goal attainment means to your success!

Stretch Goals

•  Above and beyond primary goals

• In the video above you'll see that snorkeling was my "stretch goal."  I DID it!  Seeing moon jellyfish under my own swimming power was PRICELESS and unforgettable.  It was a huge milestone for me.  Now I really do want to learn how to be a stronger swimmer.

 Stretch Goals may include:  

• New initiatives
• One-time efforts
• A need for special planning
• Produce a significant result

Snorkeling successfully, achieving a new stretch goal, was my biggest reward on the water adventure last day of our cruise trip to Key West.  Parasailing with a fun boat crew was a special gift.

Photo:  Dan (harness master, Fury crew), me, Geri, Dan (boat captain, Fury crew)

So my goal and achieved item of having a great adventure on a cruise was achieved.  It now exists in pictures and deeply felt experience beyond the pale of of dreams and fantasy.   Clear intention, specifics and action made all the difference, graced with a little courage to stretch my range.  I help my clients do this and constantly practice on myself.

If you are a candidate for some leadership coaching and find my approach useful as listed on my main website, contact me via phone or email.  My contact information is here.

Where I'm at these days, and my focus/goal areas:

I have three main channels for my work. 

1) My core is described in depth on the "mothership" Reveln website, which covers the head, heart & hands of the executive leader consulting & coaching I offer to you.  I can help you align and turbo-charge (fully realize) your data, people and passion for business.   

2) My 2nd channel is change management that I enjoy with WholeScale change colleagues Ron Koller & Dr. Rick Fenwick. ChangeManagementResources.com is aimed to be a "non-partisan" website of rich resources.

3) My third channel is in Social Media =  Reveln Social Business, which I use with change leaders, consultants, coaches & business owners.

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Happiness is natural!  It's a conversation I’m currently having in my coaching community where we are discussing how to put happiness & success together.  Designing our success is more challenging.  Happiness + success is a key life task, one where coaches often dwell to help their clients get clear.

For this reason JT's post below about getting to "DO," getting to ACTION, caught my eye.  Like many coaches, I use assessments.  The "doing" focus of JT's post relates to my own "Activator" strength on StrengthFinder 2.0 (and the earlier version book, Now, Discover Your Strengths) - in my top 5 list of strengths.

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 You know, it started, one step at a time…

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A useful test for Activation for me and possibly for those of us input junkies out there, is this set of questions.

What top three things do you:

• love,
• have the capacity and skill to do, and
• know can bring you both happiness + success?
• have readiness to begin?
• commit to begin, now?

Photo of the 6 sources of Influence tool from the "Change Anything!" book.

 The video below of Diana Wong and me is from the May event, Change Anything, another "DO" focus, from the national book launch.  The Change Anything! book is a helpful resource, as is their on-line, free quiz about how NOT to be blind and outnumbered in managing your sources of influence in making an ACTION oriented change in your behavior.

Getting to DID, in a world filled with possibilities and rich distractions is a challenge, especially for someone like me who like to inhale it all, who is a INPUT junkie (another of my top 5, heh.)

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"Is Reflection an Action Step?"  -- Peter Block

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 This is what coaches in my group mean when we help clients reach in and clarify how they can design their success.  The questions that I'd add to this include: 

• What resources do you need to fully realize your success?  
• What capacity do you have within yourself to affect the changes you may need?
• What capacity do you need from a partner, strategic alliance or to just hire out?  

Your strategic alliances can make all the difference in the world from getting from Initiate to Did.    I'd also add a favorite question from a consulting guru in my circles:  "Is Reflection an Action Step?"  -- Peter Block.

Here's JT's action oriented blog, excerpts: 

• Seth Godin: In, “Linchpin,” he repeatedly reminds everyone to ship! If you want to be recognized for something you have to have shipped something.  In, “Poke the Box,” Seth again prods us to ship things, to initiate.

• David Allen: “Getting Things Done,” is all about organizing your life so as to improve productivity—and decrease stress.  A key tool: Next Actions.  What is a Next Action? It’s something you initiate, start, do, did.

A number of friends have commented about my having ‘started blogging,’ and wished they could as well.  You know, it started, one step at a time.  …

So, let me encourage you: Whatever it is you want to do, whatever it might be you’ve been afraid of doing, whatever your dream might be: Start. Initiate. Do it. Now.

Photo credit: Emil Bacik

via jtpedersen.net

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Sorry I missed our monthly meeting coaching friends!  Here's a photo gallery of our last meeting in March.  Enjoy!   I plan to make the May meeting.   Our LinkedIn group is here.  

This is a professional coaches group that meets for 1 hour, on the 3rd Friday of the month at  MoonWinks Café, 5151 Plymouth Rd. Ann Arbor MI 48105

See the full gallery on Posterous

See the full gallery on Posterous

See you soon!   Best spring wishes!

--Deb

PS to the group. 

I'll be part of a panel that is presenting on Social Media at Ikea Business next Thursday, 6:30 p.m.  Here are a few details:

Are you Social Media Savvy? Try Easy Video! Deb at IKEA for Business, Canton, April 21 | SCORE

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There's a good reason the Liberal Arts continue to be the thinking person's place for developing leaders. Witness, Peter Drucker's take on it, dubbed by John Agno as the first executive coach. --Deb

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Managers [should] draw on all the knowledge and insights of the humanities and the social sciences...   But they have to focus this knowledge on effectiveness and results.  ~ Peter Drucker

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TJ Wisner interviews me, Deb Nystrom, on questions to ask to choose a coach for yourself.

Connect, Clarify and Commit: listen to internet radio with Terry Wisner via Blog Talk Radio

via flickr.com

The three "Cs" are simple to remember, yet they are implemented so differently among coaches. 

Here are some basic questions to ask your coach candidates:

1. How does your background and training define the type of coaching you offer?
2. Why did you choose to become a coach?
3. What is your coaching philosophy?
4. Describe the results one of your clients has achieved through coaching.
5. What’s unique about you as a coach?
6. Describe your coaching process.
7. Will our sessions be in person or over the phone?
8. How frequently will we meet, for how long, and over what duration?
9. What do you charge?
10. Who is your ideal client?
11. How will I measure success in using you as my coach?
12. Where can I read more about your approach (if the coach uses a website and/or social media)?

Start with thinking about your relationships with mentors, sport coaches, teachers and friends.  Consider what relationships were most beneficial to your development and why.  Bring this thinking to your decision making when considering leveraging a coach to help you see deeply into your own strengths and capacity to help you maximize your best self.   

If you have thoughts about these questions and this approach, feel free to share them!   

Warm Regards,

--Deb

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This is a helpful excerpt from the Wall Street journal that captures assessments as a foundational part of personal development, realizing your full potential and capacity.  Assessments are key for developing an evidence based approach in a professional coaching practice.  I've taken over 20 assessments myself, sometimes the same ones respeated over decades.  See if you agree with the assessments approach.  Thanks go to John Agno for the post on LinkedIn. 

Excerpted:

... coaches increasingly recognize that personality assessments can lead clients not only to greater self-insight but also to improved relationships.  The tests "can help get to the heart of the problem quickly," says Richard Levak, a Del Mar, Calif., psychologist, who uses them extensively in his practice.  "Too often psychologists operate on their intuition and clinical knowledge, but people are not often as they appear."

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When people take ...tests, their self-awareness goes up and they quickly figure out their strengths and weaknesses.  

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 A test might reveal that someone who appears jovial and self-effacing may actually be insecure and introverted—constantly working to play a role, he says.

via flickr.com

Consider what happens when an introvert comes home hoping to chill after a rough day at work—only to find his extrovert partner waiting to recap every moment of her day.  The introvert gets angry; the extrovert feels hurt.  The therapist or coach tells the extrovert that her spouse needs time alone; she tells the introvert that he needs to make an effort to come out and talk after he has decompressed. 

Introversion & extroversion are actually more complex and nuanced than described here, but the basic concepts still ring true.

What, exactly, is personality?

John D. Mayer, a psychologist and expert on personality testing at the University of New Hampshire, says it is "the system that organizes one's emotions, motives and capacities to think."  Personalities are partly innate, partly learned, he says; we can change them a bit, but it isn't easy.

The Myers-Briggs was developed in the 1940s by Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother, Katherine Cook Briggs, who despite little advanced training in psychology, immersed themselves in the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung and designed the questionnaire based on Jung's personality types.

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 Self-awareness facilitates change.

 ________________________________

When people take personality tests, their self-awareness goes up and they quickly figure out their strengths and weaknesses.  Self-awareness facilitates change.

Source: The Wall Street Journal, April 5, 2011   via coachingtip.com

After taking over 20 assessments myself, I've vetted the ones I would want to offer to my clients.  My current suite of assessments that I offer to business, leadership and change coaching clients includes, but is not limited to:

• The iWam, the inventory for Work Attitude and Motivation
• The MBTI, basic, Step II and more
• The StrengthsFinder assessment
• A new change, competence and importance assessment for being a "finisher in a world of starters) through a colleague
  
• Through a colleague, the Profiles International Checkpoint 360, the PPI, a DISC personality style instrument, the Profiles XT performance & career match assessment.

and more.   What has been your experience with self-assessment and self-awareness tools?

--Deb

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One of the core questions in my coaching school of thought is "What's Important?"   In time management days of yore, it was "What is the best use of my time right now?" 

Using the two together, and enabled by the analysis results of Tom's new tool, I'm encouraged by how it helps a person focus on what and where they MOST need to put their attention and intention.

Here's a quote from Tom based on our conversation today about the tool:

By understanding our level of tension around specific activities, we can make choices that help us to gain clarity, focus and balance. I demonstrated the ChangeGrid to Deb and she found it to harmonize beautifully with the [Social Media for Coaches, Consultants, Business Owners] telecourse content.  ~ Tom Roznak

Ability, Challenge, Importance...  What is the best Productive Tension?  Take a look at Tom's material and you'll see what I mean.  I was delighted to find out about it.

Leveraging the Power of Social Media

Introduction to ChangeGrid.pdf Download this file

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It [came] to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. ~ Leonardo da Vinci
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Take a look at the for your own action planning, especially after Tom debriefs it with you, because, for the Social Media Teleclass #2 people, something great to help you launch your social business may come of this!

--Deb

PS:  If you are not in the Teleclass group, but are curious about it, beyond the link above, I have a open, free Social Media for Coaches, Consultants and Small Business Owners group where you can join the discussion.

--Deb

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Tom Rosenak <trosenak@zehrenfriedman.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 11, 2011 at 2:38 PM
Subject: Screen shots
To: DebNystrom@reveln.com

Hello Deb,

Feel free to post this link wherever it makes sense:

See the full gallery on Posterous

Tom Rosenak

Zehren Friedman Associates

(847) 530-3471

trosenak@zehrenfriedman.com

http://www.zehrenfriedman.com

 

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The three "Cs" of coaching which I like to use, also referred to as 3 core competencies of coaching, are the coach having the ability to:

• connect with his or her person being coached
• clarify (produce clarity) for the coaching client according to HIS or HER definition, intention - NOT the coaches version
• commit to an action that produce results in line with the client's overall coaching goals and desired outcome

The three "Cs" are simple to remember, yet they are implemented so differently among coaches. 

Here are some basic questions to ask your coach candidates:

1. How does your background and training define the type of coaching you offer?
2. Why did you choose to become a coach?
3. What is your coaching philosophy?
4. Describe the results one of your clients has achieved through coaching.
5. What’s unique about you as a coach?
6. Describe your coaching process.
7. Will our sessions be in person or over the phone?
8. How frequently will we meet, for how long, and over what duration?
9. What do you charge?
10. Who is your ideal client?
11. How will I measure success in using you as my coach?
12. Where can I read more about your approach (if the coach uses a website and/or social media)?

Start with thinking about your relationships with mentors, sport coaches, teachers and friends.  Consider what relationships were most beneficial to your development and why.  Bring this thinking to your decision making when considering leveraging a coach to help you see deeply into your own strengths and capacity to help you maximize your best self.    If you have thoughts about these questions and this approach, feel free to share them!   

Warm Regards,

--Deb

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I appreciate Jason's excerpted blog post below. It is the reason the coaching approach I use, focused on using simple short questions, has been effective in cutting into the core of "what's important?" and "what really matters?" 

As Jason describes below, clients, in the fullness of time, evolve and embrace their deepest intuitions and calling in their life and work via an emotional process.  Short, clear coaching questions help clients think, reflect, and fully explore their inner realm, including hidden gems that help surface needed issues, again, in the fullness of time.  Result?  Results!  The ultimate goal is helping clients produce effective results and improved performance, and making sense.

via flickr.com

Excerpted:

February 2, 2011

Personal development is ...an emotional process, not an intellectual one, which means it unlocks unexpectedly. You’re just as likely to go from “understanding” a situation to “understanding” a situation—aka feeling it...—while sitting at dinner or walking out of a movie as you are while talking with your coach. (Unless your coach is really, really good.)

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...I was fired by a client once for refusing to use their overly structured format, which was fine with me. ...Five years of lists, accountability sessions, and train-the-coach programs, zero results.

________________________________________

...I was fired by a client once for refusing to use their overly structured format, which was fine with me. That was five years ago, and I just got a call from them. Turns out, the coach they’ve had working with their executives hasn’t accomplished squat in the past five years. Nothing. Five years of lists, accountability sessions, and train-the-coaching programs, zero results.

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 You can’t unlock the future you before its time. Go live your life.

________________________________________

....The only coaching that’s going to work for you now is coaching that is presented on the same emotionally charged level at which you’re living today.

That development plan you’ve got? If you’re overly analytical, nix it. Better: if you can tolerate some ambiguity in your world, create a development document that’s not a plan. Take off the milestones and dates. Just list the stuff you need to work on and look at it periodically. Then go live your life and don’t worry about it. You can’t unlock the future you before it’s time. Go live your life.

Be you now.

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Beta Early Success!  Social Media for Coaches and Consultants teleclass.  All ten coaches and consultants in the class were energized and happy with the active, action-oriented, assignment focused, strategy building vision of the class in Session #1. (Testimonials after we completed all four hands-on sessions: LinkedIn, Facebook, Blogging & Twitter are here.)

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Are you ready to take advantage of social media for business? 

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I will be running one more class series that will stretch from February to early April 2011.   Anything missed in the six (6) session series can be captured via teleclass phone recording.  More details are on the Event Brite site.   

And here is the current, password protected class front page, as part of a blogging pick-a-template assignment.

Are you ready to learn how to integrate social media to have it work for YOU  simply and easily, tailored for your audiences?

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Register for the free Thursday night teleclass (or to receive the podcast/recording) on the Event Brite site.   

• Those who register will also receive a link to the recording to follow up, if you have to miss the time scheduled.  
• Of course, your name will NOT be added to any newsletter list, nor will your email be shared with anyone.

_____________________________

Social media, when used well, is agile, light, responsive, and powerful!

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I'm a consultant and coach by day.  I am teaching this telecourse because I truely enjoy using social media and sharing my expertise.  I enjoy the agile aspects of on-line interactions, like a cheetah. 

Social media, when used well, is agile, light, responsive, and powerful!   A cheetah is an agile sprinter, 0-125 in a few seconds. Hs claws are always half out and when he runs, his body is flaccid, relaxed, not tense.  Thank you to Kent Norton on my Reveln Consulting Facebook business page for the reference.

Also thanks to John Agno for his referrals and my wonderful coach participants and video testimonials.   I appreciate it!

--Warm wishes,   --Deb

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Deb:   This article, from a unexpected source in US News and World Report, has traveled quite the distance in our family.  From a skeptical, very practical dad to a dreamer, poetry award winner and values-driven daughter.  If both agree with some enthusiasm to this kind of thinking, I think we've really got something here.   What do you think?

_____________________________

A few months later, she found...a job that exactly matched her dream.

_____________________________

via flickr.com

Excerpted:

Suzanne Garber was a managing director for an international logistics company in 2008 when, during a career development meeting toward the end of her stint in Brazil, a senior executive asked her about her passions. After Garber excitedly shared her twin loves of travel and helping people in need, the man retrieved papers from his fax machine and handed them to her.

• They were from a recruiter looking to fill a chief operating officer position at a Pennsylvania-based company that provides medical and security services to clients living or traveling abroad.
  

• "I think we are going to lose you," the man explained to a surprised Garber, "and I want you to be happy."
  

• A few months later, she found herself in Pennsylvania in a job that exactly matched her dream.

_____________________________

She set herself up to be offered opportunity...

_____________________________

Garber thinks "divine timing" may deserve some credit for her move, but she firmly believes that luck didn't randomly strike. She set herself up to be offered opportunity, she says, and then she seized it. "I took a risk in being completely transparent with this person," she says. "I believe my education and work and life experience prepared me for that moment."

...when people who consider themselves lucky think about the past, they view their history in terms of the successes rather than the failures. "This is important, because if you scan the world for the things that are positive, your brain sees similar opportunities going forward," says Shawn Achor, a business consultant and author of the new book The Happiness Advantage.

_____________________________

 80 percent of self-described lucky people told him their intuition played a key role in their career choices—some 20 percent more than in the "unlucky" group.

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When University of Michigan psychology professor Colleen Seifert realized she wanted to study the decision-making of young doctors, she knew she needed a collaborator who had access to these physicians. Seifert decided to employ a method she has studied, "predictive encoding," a process to prime her mind to recognize such a study partner if she happened upon him. She's found the technique can increase by as much as 50 percent the chance that you'll subsequently act as you desire. Seifert spent hours envisioning this encounter in detail, going so far as to rehearse, out loud, the line she would use to begin her proposition. Several months later, when she was unexpectedly introduced to such a scientist at a conference, she launched into her pitch, and a collaboration was born. "People said to me, 'You're lucky to have met him.' In some ways I was, but without my mental preparation [the partnership] never would have happened," Seifert says.

...Trust your gut. In one of Wiseman's surveys, 80 percent of self-described lucky people told him their intuition played a key role in their career choices—some 20 percent more than in the "unlucky" group. Because the unconscious discerns patterns and situations that the conscious mind is oblivious to, he notes, people who trust their hunches often find it serves them well. One salesman Wiseman interviewed reported landing $250,000 worth of business from a client his colleagues considered not worth cultivating. His instincts said otherwise.

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One salesman Wiseman interviewed reported landing $250,000 worth of business from a client his colleagues considered not worth cultivating. His instincts said otherwise.

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via usnews.com

 

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"You will be able to do it."

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Peggy:  New coach, this coaching class FOR coaches fills a need. 

Susan is writing a check for the class at the PCAM conference, photo below.

Here's Nan, below (who wasn't at the emerging design PCAM conference lunch, but took notes on the teleclass group coaching design listed below in a photo.)  Nan's testimonials are about our ride back where I talked about the design of the class.

Above: Car notes by Nan for the January & February Teleclasses.

Below are quotes from the Saturday afternoon PCAM conference class - Coaching as a Business; by Diane Helbig; Diane heard the story. The value is: "You will be able to do it." 

• Not that "I'm going to teach it to you," or "I'll walk you through these processes," not, "here's the steps."

• Rather, when you are done with Deb's new group coaching course, you will be able to do it.

I'd also like to add the value that, with the group coaching, you will be able to tune it for your needs.

If you are interested, contact me at:  DebNystrom@Reveln.com.  I'll send you more information.  Your email will not be shared with anyone or added to any list.

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It only takes a spark, to get a fire going...

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Many thanks to Grace, pictured below.

What FUN to do this!

originally posted in draft form via debnystrom.posterous.com

Photos above:   These two snapshots are the current cover page and blogging comments for the private group blog for the January 2011 class.  Thanks to the groundbreakers in the mini-blogging Posterous workshop in January 2010.  Thank you Grace, breaking ground in the new 2011 January class by trying out Posterous mini-blogging and commenting on posts.

--Deb

Deb Nystrom, of Reveln Consulting blogs about innovation,  leadership, emerging trends, social media, business strategy, news, higher education and fun stuff.  You can learn more about her background & projects on the mothership at Reveln Consulting.

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Excerpts from a helpful website that digs into some of the depth of the MBTI. 

I'm including some excerpts here to give you a flavor of how the MBTI is a more two-dimension model, with, below the water line of the shadow, actually 8 preference results, not just four.  (Check out John Beebe's work on-line.)  Meanwhile, this is a great set of tools and a visual about what you present to the world as your dominant, auxiliary, tertiary (described below) and inferior functions.    --  Deb

via flickr.com

The Great Tertiary Debate?

Our convention is to draw the Mental Muscle Diagrams(TM) are usually drawn to show the tertiary function as in the same world as the dominant - but you should remember that it could be either. In fact, any function could be in either the outer or inner world, depending on the individual. The Mental Muscle Diagram(TM) simply shows the more 'typical' configuration.

Note: this mental muscle diagram accurately reflects all that is contained within the Myers Briggs dynamic model, and enables a complicated subject to be simplified in an easy to understand visual form. However, it is a new way of representing the Myers Briggs functions, so you may not come across it anywhere else.

The Mental Muscle Diagrams(TM)

Finally, here are the typical mental muscle diagrams for each of the 16 types.

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You may have wondered why, in the diagram for an ENFP, Thinking has been shown in the outer world, and Sensing in the inner world.

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• In the Myers Briggs model, the least preferred mental muscle (called the inferior - in this case, Sensing) is believed to operate mainly in the world opposite to the dominant.

• There is some controversy as to the normal pattern for extroverting or introverting the third preferred (called the tertiary - in this case, Thinking).

• Some people believe that the tertiary operates in the same world as the dominant, others believe it operates in the opposite world, and yet more others believe it can operate in either.

• In my view, this is a dynamic model, where each function operates to some degree in both the outer and inner worlds.

• Also, individuals do not conform to a set pattern, and everyone introverts and extroverts the mental muscles according to their own unique pattern.

Surely this means that it is not too important to resolve the issue of whether the tertiary is introverted or extraverted.

Having said that, the extroversion of Thinking in this case can explain some potential anomalies and misunderstandings. Whilst the ENFP is primarily a Feeling person, others may perceive him or her as being logical first.

Suppose there is a significant cultural pressure, within the business environment, to operate in a logical fashion. As other people's views affect the individual's view of himself, he may come to believe that he is more logical, and lose touch with the inner Feeling side.

(This issue might be raised during the 'mid-life transition', when individuals often seek to understand themselves better, and pay more attention to their own needs rather than accommodating the cultural pressure on them to conform. For further discussion of this subject, see 'Navigating Mid-life', a book published by Consulting Psychologists Press.)

Read the full article here via teamtechnology.co.uk

 

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Well, well!  How refreshing!   I came across this useful anti-coach blog just in the nick of time, before I decend into the abyss of hundreds of coaches at a state-wide coaches conference next weekend, having picked up a coaching credential last year.

In all fairness, many of my new colleagues have been in other professions, have plenty of good life experience and have been very helpful to the variety of clients they assist.  From my own coaching vantage point, I sit somewhat too high at times, viewing clientele from the consulting perspective of organization development. Breathing in a bit of anti-coach humor with some reframing can help me dismount the high horse and return to terra firma. 

Here's a sample from a recent post.

Excerpts from 10 Great Things About Fear:

2.  It allows people to get what they want. I mean other people, not you.

4.  It helps you to escape hard stuff, like rejection and failure.

5.  It makes it possible for you to be easily manipulated. Then you can feel like someone owes you something.

10.  It gives swashbucklers, renegades and risk takers more and better opportunities.

See the full post here via theanticoach.net

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I ran across an intriguing title today in my social media and news checking:  How to be Great: Rising Above the Talent Myth.   It confirmed to me that I've adopted a different point of view, based on conversations in my coaching circle of colleagues and in working with clients. 

via flickr.com

Here's a key quote to illustrate the conflict:

...what’s great about these findings is that we can apply them to all areas of our life. Almost any skill is improvable. Giving presentations. Sports. Negotiating. Whatever it is that you do and have a passion for, you can improve and become truly great — if you are willing to put in the work, that is.

Source:  Litemind: The Talent Myth

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These types of findings are fairly pervasive.  They create quite an economy of self-help seminars, books, academies, and certainly generate a lot of revenue in leadership coaching arenas.

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As a counterpoint, I have adopted the view that Blank Slate, the you-can-be-anything viewpoint, is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness, let along full effectiveness and success.

These types of findings cited are fairly pervasive.  They create quite an economy of self-help seminars, books, academies, and certainly generate a lot of revenue in leadership coaching arenas.

Here was my response to the Talent Myth article.  See if you agree. Several other commenters did:

I have a different point of view - as it seems what is written about here may be about success, but not happiness + success tied to capacity and our natural talents.  

Several colleagues of mine have already written blog posts on working within your innate strengths and capacities, in order to build both happiness and success together, with speed and minimal frustration.   Most people just do not have the arm to be professional baseball pitchers, no matter how long they practice. Most people do not have the pipes to be world famous operatic stars.

The first citation is from a hearfelt blog post by Manya Arond Thomas, a Harvard trained physician and healer as well as a leadership coach:

Manya's Excerpt:  

Even if we’re pretty good at a lot of things, we will never get the same result, or bang for the buck, if we aren’t naturally wired for that strength, that is, if it isn’t coded into our DNA. The truth is that everything about who we are and what our potential is, is in our blueprint.      Source is her full blog post here.

Another citation, built on the somewhat controversial work of Elliot Jacques is by Herb Koplowitz.  It is not easy to understand - yet in a nutshell, oversimplified, it is about understanding and assigning people to places in organizations where they can best succeed based on their capacity, including the capacity for planning into the future.  The reference is here based on a strata framework.

I'd be interested in what you think about working toward capacity and strengths, vs. the blank slate approach - which can lead to frustration and inefficiency.  Working in your strengths should show results in better work life effectiveness as well as being joyful, energizing, and just plan fun!

--Deb

Deb Nystrom, of Reveln Consulting blogs about innovation,  leadership, emerging trends, social media, business strategy, news,higher education and fun stuff. You can learn more about her background & projects on the mothership at Reveln Consulting.

via revelnconsulting.posterous.com

 

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Deb: My year started in June 2009, leaving a secure, internal consulting job after being in the higher education bubble for 30 years. It's has been an invigorating, energizing move that validates a lot of what Carrie Hensel, co-founder of the Women's Exchange of Washtenaw, has experienced. Here are a few excerpts from her article.  Also check out the great video about WXW Spring 2010 conference below.   Beth Stoner is writing another article connected to a panel of 5 of us that will happen in November, 2010.  Here's my Facebook post:

• Writing a bio for the Women's Exchange of Washtenaw (WXW.) I'm a panelist. Nov 18th (3 - 6 PM), WXW is having an interactive event at Eagle Crest in Ypsilanti. The topic is "Career & Life Transitions."

Here's the panel line-up.  More details to follow:

• Jennifer Albaum - Geographer, Entrepreneur, Founder of the Shadow Art Fair 
  
• Theresa Carroll - Chief Mothering Officer, Carroll Family Inc. (formerly a Partner with Dykema)   
• Natalie Myers - Box Office Manager / Operations Assistant, Michigan Theater   
• Deb Nystrom - (that's me) Organization Development Consultant and Leadership Coach, Reveln Consulting   
• Gloria Thomas, Ph.D. - Director, Center for the Education of Women

Carrie:  Whether by choice or circumstance, many of my friends and colleagues spent summer 2010 making dramatic career transitions and life changing decisions. 

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Take the time to identify and learn about the things that are new and/or scary to you because these things might be most meaningful and vital to your future plans....

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Two friends were laid off from jobs they’d held for decades. Several moms decided that spending time with their kids was more important than a big salary or management position. 

One friend decided that after 10 years of running her own business, she’d like to pursue an entirely new path. And a friend in her 60s decided to take the risk and change jobs with the hope that she’d finally find the job satisfaction that had eluded her all her life.

When I asked these women for their advice to others who are considering or actually going through career transitions, here’s what they said:

1. Seek out help and guidance. Each of my friends talked about how they initially felt alone and uncertain. But when they started asking for help, they found that people of all career stages wanted them to succeed and were willing to share, mentor, and guide. Start asking for help in the beginning of your transition process; don’t wait until you are in a crisis.

 

2. Try “experiments” to test your new path. In her book “Working Identity,” Herminia Ibarra recommends that you identify short term projects or “experiments” that can help you to get a feel for a new line of work, gain experience in a new field, and make connections with others who are doing what you want to do. ...

3. Learn about what you don’t know and recognize what scares you. ...Take the time to identify and learn about the things that are new and/or scary to you because these things might be most meaningful and vital to your future plans....

4. Understand that life is just a series of transitions. Each of my friends said they felt reassured when they realized that life is always changing, and they were free to adapt, evolve, and seek out what was best for them...

Carrie Hensel is co-founder and CEO of Inner Circle Media and Co-Founder and President of the Women’s Exchange of Washtenaw.

via flickr.com

Read the full article via annarbor.com

The full video of the terrific 2010 WXW Spring Conference is here. I'm after the 2:40 mark:

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