If you're trying to be miserable, it's important you don't have any goals.

• No school goals, personal goals, family goals.

• Your only objective each day should be to inhale and exhale for 16 hours before you go to bed again.

• Don't read anything informative, don't listen to anything useful, don't do anything productive.

• If you start achieving goals, you might start to feel a sense of excitement, then you might want to set another goal, and then your miserable mornings are through.

~ John Bytheway

=================

One of my broad goals is to experience the fullness of life, and do my part to help others do the same.

Photo:  My cabin cruise mate and new friend Geri with me.

As school starts up for a sizable part of the population in the U.S., the above quote about energizing yourself through goal clarity seemed useful, especially as I notice the excitement and energy that develops with clients who have developed greater clarity about the real aims of their stated goals.

It was NOT my goal last February to go on a cruise vacation in August.  However, my step-circuit instructor and friend was having a milestone birthday and wanted a cruise vacation with friends to celebrate it.  As I had an inclination to go on a cruise someday, the day had arrived and became a goal.

Photo:  View of the beach on Paradise Island, Nassau, the Bahamas

Those with good experience with goal development and clarifying rightness of purpose and vision, with good connections to their work & personal communities, may find that goals emerge and clarify themselves, guided by seasoned intuition and the help of friends.  A coach can help test the health of a leader's goal setting behavior.  

As I am a coach, there were a good number of conversations with family and friends that sealed the deal on taking advantage of this cruise opportunity.

Here are some goal writing principles to help:

Good goals have structure and spine.  They exist as pillars beyond the wispy land of dreams and fantasies.  Good goals are:

• Small, clear in number, prioritized:  Like a well-planned trip that catches meaningful moments in the journey as well as the specific, desired destination, good goals are clear, numbered, (my top 5 goals this year are...), and are prioritized.  Test that they are energizing to your daily efforts.

• • My broad work goals and areas of service are defined at the end of this blog post and help me focus my efforts when I am invited to speak at events, am contacted for consulting / coaching services and when I do my marketing and relationship building work.

• Well defined, well written:  SMART goal setting is well known to many as a useful reference to writing good goals.  The standard bearer is:    

S - Specific   M - Measurable   A - Attainable  R - Relevant to your mission  T - Time-limited

• Set clear performance expectations for yourself connected with those in your system, boss, direct reports, colleagues, your work and personal world.

• Facilitate communication of expectations between those impacted or involved, especially for those who supply you with what you need to achieve your goals, and to those who have the same needs from you.

• Stay Agile, Adapt your goals if & when circumstances change.  

More of the story:  Hurricane Irene put an end to our port of call at Coco Cay.  We later learned that Key West was definitely worth the few extra hours we were gifted.  The first early afternoon and evening in Key West allowed us to learn from a pedicab driver what best fit the type of adventure my cabin-mate and I wanted to have.

The results.  I'm still smiling from this parasailing, jetskiing and snorkeling video of our water adventure at Key West.

Video:  Thank you to my lovely ship-mate who took the parasailing video when Justin's shipboard camera failed. Awesome job!

• Keep your goal-focused skills sharp.  Pursue regular professional development, especially if the work to be done require skills and knowledge that need to be updated.  Most skills do need regular refreshing.

• Evaluate the results of your goals work tied to SMART.  What's working?  What's not?  Are you working on what really matters?

• Take action on your goals efforts:  Did you produce clear, measurable results?  If not, what needs to change?  Change it!  If you reached your goal, celebrate!  If nothing else, savor the moment.  Enjoy what goal attainment means to your success!

Stretch Goals

•  Above and beyond primary goals

• In the video above you'll see that snorkeling was my "stretch goal."  I DID it!  Seeing moon jellyfish under my own swimming power was PRICELESS and unforgettable.  It was a huge milestone for me.  Now I really do want to learn how to be a stronger swimmer.

 Stretch Goals may include:  

• New initiatives
• One-time efforts
• A need for special planning
• Produce a significant result

Snorkeling successfully, achieving a new stretch goal, was my biggest reward on the water adventure last day of our cruise trip to Key West.  Parasailing with a fun boat crew was a special gift.

Photo:  Dan (harness master, Fury crew), me, Geri, Dan (boat captain, Fury crew)

So my goal and achieved item of having a great adventure on a cruise was achieved.  It now exists in pictures and deeply felt experience beyond the pale of of dreams and fantasy.   Clear intention, specifics and action made all the difference, graced with a little courage to stretch my range.  I help my clients do this and constantly practice on myself.

If you are a candidate for some leadership coaching and find my approach useful as listed on my main website, contact me via phone or email.  My contact information is here.

Where I'm at these days, and my focus/goal areas:

I have three main channels for my work. 

1) My core is described in depth on the "mothership" Reveln website, which covers the head, heart & hands of the executive leader consulting & coaching I offer to you.  I can help you align and turbo-charge (fully realize) your data, people and passion for business.   

2) My 2nd channel is change management that I enjoy with WholeScale change colleagues Ron Koller & Dr. Rick Fenwick. ChangeManagementResources.com is aimed to be a "non-partisan" website of rich resources.

3) My third channel is in Social Media =  Reveln Social Business, which I use with change leaders, consultants, coaches & business owners.

Happiness is natural!  It's a conversation I’m currently having in my coaching community where we are discussing how to put happiness & success together.  Designing our success is more challenging.  Happiness + success is a key life task, one where coaches often dwell to help their clients get clear.

For this reason JT's post below about getting to "DO," getting to ACTION, caught my eye.  Like many coaches, I use assessments.  The "doing" focus of JT's post relates to my own "Activator" strength on StrengthFinder 2.0 (and the earlier version book, Now, Discover Your Strengths) - in my top 5 list of strengths.

__________________________________

 You know, it started, one step at a time…

__________________________________

A useful test for Activation for me and possibly for those of us input junkies out there, is this set of questions.

What top three things do you:

• love,
• have the capacity and skill to do, and
• know can bring you both happiness + success?
• have readiness to begin?
• commit to begin, now?

Photo of the 6 sources of Influence tool from the "Change Anything!" book.

 The video below of Diana Wong and me is from the May event, Change Anything, another "DO" focus, from the national book launch.  The Change Anything! book is a helpful resource, as is their on-line, free quiz about how NOT to be blind and outnumbered in managing your sources of influence in making an ACTION oriented change in your behavior.

Getting to DID, in a world filled with possibilities and rich distractions is a challenge, especially for someone like me who like to inhale it all, who is a INPUT junkie (another of my top 5, heh.)

__________________________________

"Is Reflection an Action Step?"  -- Peter Block

__________________________________

 This is what coaches in my group mean when we help clients reach in and clarify how they can design their success.  The questions that I'd add to this include: 

• What resources do you need to fully realize your success?  
• What capacity do you have within yourself to affect the changes you may need?
• What capacity do you need from a partner, strategic alliance or to just hire out?  

Your strategic alliances can make all the difference in the world from getting from Initiate to Did.    I'd also add a favorite question from a consulting guru in my circles:  "Is Reflection an Action Step?"  -- Peter Block.

Here's JT's action oriented blog, excerpts: 

• Seth Godin: In, “Linchpin,” he repeatedly reminds everyone to ship! If you want to be recognized for something you have to have shipped something.  In, “Poke the Box,” Seth again prods us to ship things, to initiate.

• David Allen: “Getting Things Done,” is all about organizing your life so as to improve productivity—and decrease stress.  A key tool: Next Actions.  What is a Next Action? It’s something you initiate, start, do, did.

A number of friends have commented about my having ‘started blogging,’ and wished they could as well.  You know, it started, one step at a time.  …

So, let me encourage you: Whatever it is you want to do, whatever it might be you’ve been afraid of doing, whatever your dream might be: Start. Initiate. Do it. Now.

Photo credit: Emil Bacik

via jtpedersen.net

Sorry I missed our monthly meeting coaching friends!  Here's a photo gallery of our last meeting in March.  Enjoy!   I plan to make the May meeting.   Our LinkedIn group is here.  

This is a professional coaches group that meets for 1 hour, on the 3rd Friday of the month at  MoonWinks Café, 5151 Plymouth Rd. Ann Arbor MI 48105

(download)

Click here to download:

coach-cafe-meets-monthly-moonwinks-in-ann-arbor-cGpezDfgbGHllBeytucz.zip (9.6 MB)

(download)

Click here to download:

coach-cafe-meets-monthly-moonwinks-in-ann-arbor-IiFhjCfshurFGwCmyzem.zip (385 KB)

See you soon!   Best spring wishes!

--Deb

PS to the group. 

I'll be part of a panel that is presenting on Social Media at Ikea Business next Thursday, 6:30 p.m.  Here are a few details:

Are you Social Media Savvy? Try Easy Video! Deb at IKEA for Business, Canton, April 21 | SCORE

There's a good reason the Liberal Arts continue to be the thinking person's place for developing leaders. Witness, Peter Drucker's take on it, dubbed by John Agno as the first executive coach. --Deb

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Managers [should] draw on all the knowledge and insights of the humanities and the social sciences...   But they have to focus this knowledge on effectiveness and results.  ~ Peter Drucker

_________________________________

Listen to internet radio with Terry Wisner on Blog Talk Radio

 

 

Note:  After the initial ad, you may need to adjust your speakers

On Tuesdays with TJ, Terry Wisner asked my about questions to ask a prospective coach.  Here's the blog article that goes with Terry's radio show.  Thanks Terry, a great host!   --Deb

I covered the three "Cs" of coaching which I like to use, also referred to as 3 core competencies of coaching.  They are the coach having the ability to:

• connect with his or her person being coached
• clarify (produce clarity) for the coaching client according to HIS or HER definition, intention - NOT the coaches version
• commit to an action that produce results in line with the client's overall coaching goals and desired outcome

via flickr.com

The three "Cs" are simple to remember, yet they are implemented so differently among coaches. 

Here are some basic questions to ask your coach candidates:

1. How does your background and training define the type of coaching you offer?
2. Why did you choose to become a coach?
3. What is your coaching philosophy?
4. Describe the results one of your clients has achieved through coaching.
5. What’s unique about you as a coach?
6. Describe your coaching process.
7. Will our sessions be in person or over the phone?
8. How frequently will we meet, for how long, and over what duration?
9. What do you charge?
10. Who is your ideal client?
11. How will I measure success in using you as my coach?
12. Where can I read more about your approach (if the coach uses a website and/or social media)?

Start with thinking about your relationships with mentors, sport coaches, teachers and friends.  Consider what relationships were most beneficial to your development and why.  Bring this thinking to your decision making when considering leveraging a coach to help you see deeply into your own strengths and capacity to help you maximize your best self.    If you have thoughts about these questions and this approach, feel free to share them!   

Warm Regards,

--Deb

This is a helpful excerpt from the Wall Street journal that captures assessments as a foundational part of personal development, realizing your full potential and capacity.  Assessments are key for developing an evidence based approach in a professional coaching practice.  I've taken over 20 assessments myself, sometimes the same ones respeated over decades.  See if you agree with the assessments approach.  Thanks go to John Agno for the post on LinkedIn. 

Excerpted:

... coaches increasingly recognize that personality assessments can lead clients not only to greater self-insight but also to improved relationships.  The tests "can help get to the heart of the problem quickly," says Richard Levak, a Del Mar, Calif., psychologist, who uses them extensively in his practice.  "Too often psychologists operate on their intuition and clinical knowledge, but people are not often as they appear."

________________________________

When people take ...tests, their self-awareness goes up and they quickly figure out their strengths and weaknesses.  

________________________________

 A test might reveal that someone who appears jovial and self-effacing may actually be insecure and introverted—constantly working to play a role, he says.

Consider what happens when an introvert comes home hoping to chill after a rough day at work—only to find his extrovert partner waiting to recap every moment of her day.  The introvert gets angry; the extrovert feels hurt.  The therapist or coach tells the extrovert that her spouse needs time alone; she tells the introvert that he needs to make an effort to come out and talk after he has decompressed.

What, exactly, is personality?

John D. Mayer, a psychologist and expert on personality testing at the University of New Hampshire, says it is "the system that organizes one's emotions, motives and capacities to think."  Personalities are partly innate, partly learned, he says; we can change them a bit, but it isn't easy.

The Myers-Briggs was developed in the 1940s by Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother, Katherine Cook Briggs, who despite little advanced training in psychology, immersed themselves in the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung and designed the questionnaire based on Jung's personality types.

________________________________

 Self-awareness facilitates change.

________________________________

When people take personality tests, their self-awareness goes up and they quickly figure out their strengths and weaknesses.  Self-awareness facilitates change.

Source: The Wall Street Journal, April 5, 2011   via coachingtip.com

After taking over 20 assessments myself, I've vetted the ones I would want to offer to my clients.  My current suite of assessments that I offer to business, leadership and change coaching clients includes, but is not limited to:

• The iWam, the inventory for Work Attitude and Motivation
• The MBTI, basic, Step II and more
• The StrengthsFinder assessment
• A new change, competence and importance assessment for being a "finisher in a world of starters) through a colleague
  
• Through a colleague, the Profiles International Checkpoint 360, the PPI, a DISC personality style instrument, the Profiles XT performance & career match assessment.

and more.   What has been your experience with self-assessment and self-awareness tools?

--Deb

One of the core questions in my coaching school of thought is "What's Important?"   In time management days of yore, it was "What is the best use of my time right now?" 

Using the two together, and enabled by the analysis results of Tom's new tool, I'm encouraged by how it helps a person focus on what and where they MOST need to put their attention and intention.

Here's a quote from Tom based on our conversation today about the tool:

By understanding our level of tension around specific activities, we can make choices that help us to gain clarity, focus and balance. I demonstrated the ChangeGrid to Deb and she found it to harmonize beautifully with the [Social Media for Coaches, Consultants, Business Owners] telecourse content.  ~ Tom Roznak

Ability, Challenge, Importance...  What is the best Productive Tension?  Take a look at Tom's material and you'll see what I mean.  I was delighted to find out about it.

Leveraging the Power of Social Media

Click here to download:

Introduction to ChangeGrid.pdf (1.62 MB)

(download)

Click here to download:

Introduction to ChangeGrid.pdf (1.62 MB)

_________________________

It [came] to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. ~ Leonardo da Vinci
_________________________

Take a look at the for your own action planning, especially after Tom debriefs it with you, because, for the Social Media Teleclass #2 people, something great to help you launch your social business may come of this!

--Deb

PS:  If you are not in the Teleclass group, but are curious about it, beyond the link above, I have a open, free Social Media for Coaches, Consultants and Small Business Owners group where you can join the discussion.

--Deb

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Tom Rosenak <trosenak@zehrenfriedman.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 11, 2011 at 2:38 PM
Subject: Screen shots
To: DebNystrom@reveln.com

Hello Deb,

Feel free to post this link wherever it makes sense:

(download)

Click here to download:

Whats_Important_Focusing_on_Te.zip (871 KB)

Tom Rosenak

Zehren Friedman Associates

(847) 530-3471

trosenak@zehrenfriedman.com

http://www.zehrenfriedman.com

 

The three "Cs" of coaching which I like to use, also referred to as 3 core competencies of coaching, are the coach having the ability to:

• connect with his or her person being coached
• clarify (produce clarity) for the coaching client according to HIS or HER definition, intention - NOT the coaches version
• commit to an action that produce results in line with the client's overall coaching goals and desired outcome

The three "Cs" are simple to remember, yet they are implemented so differently among coaches. 

Here are some basic questions to ask your coach candidates:

1. How does your background and training define the type of coaching you offer?
2. Why did you choose to become a coach?
3. What is your coaching philosophy?
4. Describe the results one of your clients has achieved through coaching.
5. What’s unique about you as a coach?
6. Describe your coaching process.
7. Will our sessions be in person or over the phone?
8. How frequently will we meet, for how long, and over what duration?
9. What do you charge?
10. Who is your ideal client?
11. How will I measure success in using you as my coach?
12. Where can I read more about your approach (if the coach uses a website and/or social media)?

Start with thinking about your relationships with mentors, sport coaches, teachers and friends.  Consider what relationships were most beneficial to your development and why.  Bring this thinking to your decision making when considering leveraging a coach to help you see deeply into your own strengths and capacity to help you maximize your best self.    If you have thoughts about these questions and this approach, feel free to share them!   

Warm Regards,

--Deb